Gabby’s Paradise

Sometimes, I stop to think. Sometimes, I stop to remember but most of the times it is just a routine of day to day activities that translate to weeks that eventually become months and years. This is life, bound by the finite borders of time. As Kyle would say it in the series “Kyle XY” at Channel 5 here in Singapore, we need time to define our lives. There is schedule for everything, a structure in how we live. It seems that we cannot escape time because our lives depended on it.

Time is something I feel here in Singapore. It is something that I notice maybe because I was deprived of it for the longest time. I was a busy bee since elementary to college and even when I was in my previous work in Manila. I always made it a point to do many things at once, like a circus juggler who would balance so many things in a day. Project deadlines, sporting activities, family time, social gatherings, etc. I had a lot of things I planned for a day because there was so much to be done. I even remember that I wanted to have more hours in a day just to finish all my plans.

Now that my days are becoming less of a discovery and more of a routine, I miss the rush, I miss the juggling. Now i know what I need to do, i do it and I still have the spare time to day dream of what I would buy when my monthly salary comes along or check my friendster everyday, check out the news in the morning and watch all the telenovelas tfc would barf out of its screen.

Maybe it really is how life should be, the time can be filled with other activities and that days arent jam packed with minute things that needs to be done within the day. We are entitled to relax and concentrate in what we are doing.  We wake up and sleep soundly not worrying that life is too short or the time cannot be extended. In a sadistic kind of way, I miss the rush but I guess, now the challenge for me is to fill that gaps that were before always full. To fill it not with chores and work but with other experiences that are worth remembering and makes life worth living.

Today, I did just that.

I only had half a day of schedule - a seminar of designer liabilities and limitations in Chinatown. Then after lunch, nothing. So what I did was to walk… and soon I realized that today is the start of the mooncake festival, one of those important celebrations in the Chinese calendar that dates back to Zhou dynasty. There was a presentation in Chinatown and all of a sudden,  I became part of the celebration. Although much of the program was in mandarin, I still enjoyed it. There was even this Korean girl who was talking to a local and inquiring about the festival. I just evesdropped to their conversation and found some new information.

Away from friends and family, I realize that I have a lot of time for myself and that I will have to start a new, doing a different routine that I would never do back in Manila. I go to the library now. I go to museums and parks. I shop online and discover new things just by walking. Singapore is teaching me that. Soon enough, I will create a new way of spending my time but right now, it really has a lot of blank spaces. I now enjoy just looking in the air and really doing nothing but thats okay, life should have those moments. Live. Breathe.